Can we be “just” friends?

Dear Identity,

I have been meaning to have this conversation with you for a while now. Let’s just say, I am not convinced you are entirely good for me. Did I form you or do you make me? My attachment to you is so strong that I can’t seem to let go of you. It is bordering on ‘unhealthy’.

Our relationship is a contradiction of sorts. I want to be friends with you, but don't want to be in a committed relationship. There I said it.

It’s reassuring how you make me believe I am smart and intelligent. This confidence…


Small steps towards stepping into my authentic self

My hair has gone through every chemical and heat procedure we have invented. For starters, I enjoy experimenting with my hair. I have found my authentic hair self and it is liberating.

As a south Indian kid, I had thick, flowing, dense, black hair. I shampooed, conditioned, hair-masked it for it to be frizz-free. I tried hard for my hair to look like those shiny straight hair shown in media. The younger me wanted to embrace the beauty standard.

Deep down I was a confident little lanky girl, even when I wanted to look the prescribed way. I tried and…


We can’t possibly be serious all the time. Even life lessons can be fun.

We all devour up life lessons and experiences so that we can learn and grow. Isn’t growth our ultimate aim? Mine is (or so I believe). There is no dearth of content for growth in any area of life. We have hashtagged everything in life. It’s cute. #growth #goals #fun

I have a fetish for quotes. The walls in my study are plastered with printouts of quotes from books, movies, and every nook and cranny of the internet. My favorites though are the sassy and cheeky ones. …


A note of gratitude.

Dear Books,

I have never ceased to express my love and gratitude for how you shaped my life. I am just a not-so-little woman standing in front of my books, telling them how much I love them.

Do you remember, you teaching me the value of friendship through the stories of Kalia, The Crow, and his friends kheechu and meechu? Wasn’t it you who taught me the strength of a woman starting with Pinki? …


We all need a chill pill.

We read books and articles teaching us neat little hacks to upgrade our lives. The glorification of hustle culture makes us guilty when we are not spending every waking minute striving towards our never-ending list of goals. We are so consumed with our vision of success that we forget to sit back and chill. Yes, we go on a binge-watch spree or get drunk with friends, to distract ourselves.

Just being and chilling has its own charm.

Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson

What can I say, this cartoon strip has been my eternal favorite. The carefree and imaginative Calvin and his friend Hobbes the tiger…


The answer lies within our bodies.

I was browsing through Amazon, ordering books for myself as a birthday gift. I picked two books suggested by my besties, one of which happened to be Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself.

I am and will always be grateful for that moment.

Reading has been a part of who I am and the books have shaped my perspective about life and the world we inhabit. This book drove home the meaning of “a book can change your life.” I sat my 9-year-old daughter down and explained some concepts from the book. …


Lilly Singh’s methods are simple but efficient.

Lilly Singh is hilarious and the millions of views her videos garner are 100% justified. Her videos, especially the older ones are sure to get anyone into a good mood. She is relatable and at the same time 200% inspirational.

Like millions of others, I have no idea why 2020 shook my peace. That’s probably not fair to say, apart from the pandemic there were personally created and endured shenanigans that surfaced. They kind of shook my being.

Coming into 2021 the roller coaster of emotions I was riding didn't seem to conclude. …


The crypto discussions piqued my curiosity and the books helped appease them.

The crypto discussions moved from the rise and fall and rise of Bitcoin to Ethereum and now encompass a wide array of coins. The cryptocurrency chatter has reached new heights amongst us, whereby my 9-year-old has been name-dropping Bitcoin and to my utter delight words like-Blockchain. Not that she understands any of it.

Not that I understood any of it. My friends confidently discuss cryptocurrencies and what it means. My brain erupts like a volcano with questions. I was naive enough to think that just because we can use digital ways to transact in fiat-money, it is digital currency!!! I…


And for parents to learn that the kids are separate from us.

Our children are not an extension of us. Period. Let me put this in perspective, your child is as much a separate individual as your neighbor's child, your cousin’s child, or your archnemesis’ child.

Let me start with what they are not:
- Our mini-copies
- Projects
- Responsible to fulfill our dreams
- Uphold our “family name” (whatever that means)
- Fill in holes in our heart
- Be what we want them to be
- Make parents proud (our pride is our own responsibility)

They are individuals. The Bhagwad Gita says the highest form of service that we…


It can aid in making decisions in congruence with self.

The best tool for waking up is an alarm and to stay awake is coffee. The best tool for writing is reading and consistency. The best tool for having healthy relationships is self-love and boundaries. The best tool for being amazing is discipline sprinkled with fun.

Hindsight is a precious tool that we don’t explore to its full potential.

Feedback falls in the same category as hindsight but I do not believe it performs the exact same function. Feedback is more instant and obvious. We receive feedback for our actions and behaviors. …

Raji Pillay

Technology enthusiast | Book Lover | Curious

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