The Glorification of Niceness
The pedestal of niceness asks for a price. A huge price.
My two best friends agree- I am a people pleaser. The rest of the world may or may not see me that way. I have or am turning a new leaf. It has been an internal struggle.
The majority of the world falls in the people-pleaser category. We do not necessarily try and please everyone, but we want to please the majority. We want to please the people we like. We want the people we don’t like to feel jealous of us. But everyone else- pleasing.
Childhood
It begins during our childhood.
Every time we listen to any adult- appreciation.
Dopamine hit. It feels good.
There is a lot more to child raising. I am talking about “niceness” only.
Every time children are nice, even when uncalled for or unnecessary, as adults we don’t stop our children. When the child is extra nice, we appreciate it more. The child’s brain is slowly and steadily forming patterns to act a certain way- to say yes to adults.
Saying “yes” to adults irrespective of the circumstances gains the child lots of appreciation and love.
So starts the process.