Why Did It Take So Long?

Ever beat yourself up? I know you have.

Raji Pillay
3 min readMay 12, 2023
Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

I have always wanted to be a ‘disciplined-earlyriser-workouter’ (that should be a word). I should be proud that since Feb 2022, I am exactly that. I wake up and turn up at the gym 5 days/a week at 5:30 am. I deserve a standing ovation and applause.

But NO!!!

How dare I celebrate? It took me a decade of thinking-doing-falling-doing-falling-doing-falling — — — — to get here.

I work in tech and my next goal is to be a Head of Tech. In the coming year, I should be able to get there. But guess what I am already disheartened that it isn’t soon enough.

Before you roll your eyes at me, these are examples. I look back and wonder a multitude of things:

  • why did it take me so long to get over my color insecurity? My life would have been so different (or so I think)
  • why did it take me so long to stand up for myself? My life would definitely have been different.

I can have an article dedicated to curating this list. I will stop.

I had an epiphany (why didn’t I have it sooner). Humanity evolves. We continue to discover the world and ourselves. Every generation pushes boundaries further. Tech, ideas, concepts — everything evolves.

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Raji Pillay

I bring my love for books, coffee, technology and life in general to my writing. Blockchain has caught my fancy and I am exploring it as I write.